


when the day met the night

by allinadayswork



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), But also, Fix-It of Sorts, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Supportive Keith (Voltron), Unrequited Love, the Sunset Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 19:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19470646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allinadayswork/pseuds/allinadayswork
Summary: In another reality, while Keith and Lance watch the sunset together: Lance doesn't tell Keith he's going on a date with Allura, Keith confesses, and Lance is a conflicted mess.





	when the day met the night

**Author's Note:**

> title from When the Day Met the Night by Panic! at the Disco
> 
> happy julance!
> 
> edit: just a heads up in case you didn't read the tags, but this is ANGSTY and the ending is kinda sad!! but i'm almost definitely gonna write a sequel now, and that one will hopefully have a much happier ending :')

Lance huffs as he struggles his way to the top of the Black Lion, weighed down by the pots and pans Coran insisted he wear. Of _course_ Keith would be in the hardest place possible for Lance to get to. That's just how Keith always is, he supposes — never wanting to be found, always just out of Lance's reach.

He's panting by the time he reaches the top. He pulls himself up, arm shaking slightly, and takes deep breaths to try and calm his racing heart. It's pointless, though, because it kicks back up again almost immediately, seizing in his chest when he sees Keith.

He's sitting beside Kosmo, dark eyes quietly looking out over the cliff, watching the sun as it slowly plunges into the horizon. It casts a serene, golden glow about him, softening his sharp jawline and warming his private smile; he looks happy, in a calm, content way.

“Man, you can be a really hard guy to find when you wanna be,” Lance jokes, breaking the silence.

Keith looks up at him. “Hey Lance— _whoa_ , what are you wearing?!”

His eyes have gone comically wide, and Lance turns his face slightly, blushing. Right. How could he forget the get-up Coran put him in? His frustration from earlier rises in his chest again, reminding him of his conversation with Coran and the ugly, festering insecurities it proved to be correct: _he's not good enough for her; he will never be good enough for her_.

Momentarily, Lance debates telling Keith everything: how Coran made him wear it for his date with Allura, how he doesn't think they'll have another one afterward… but that kind of self-pity is a whole new level of pathetic, even for Lance. He shakes his head and moves to sit beside Keith.

“Coran made me wear it,” is what he settles on. “I guess he… thought it would be fun to dress me up in something that looks like old Altean formal-wear.”

“Oh,” Keith says, looking at him curiously. “So why are you still wearing it?”

Why _is_ he still wearing it? Would it even make a difference? Maybe he really is unworthy of the princess, and it doesn't matter because their relationship is doomed to fall apart before it's even begun.

“Guess I didn't want to hurt his feelings,” Lance mumbles. Then, wanting to change the subject before something in him explodes, he asks, “You watching the sunset?”

“Yeah,” Keith replies, expression relaxing as he turns back to face the horizon. “It might be awhile before we get to see one again.”

Lance tries to act normal, act cool, act like he isn't a fucking disaster inside. So he chuckles, but it sounds off even to himself, and it dies in his throat.

If Keith notices, he doesn't say anything. He's still watching the sunset, basking in its warm gleam, so Lance feels safe to stare openly. Objectively speaking, Keith looks good like this, bathed in the dying sunlight against a dusty marigold sky, a small smile teasing at his lips. He looks more at ease than ever, haloed in gold-dipped light. Lance feels the oddest pang in his heart.

He should be watching the sunset, too. But right now, all he can see is Keith.

“Keith,” he murmurs quietly, and Keith turns back to him, one eyebrow raised in inquiry. His eyes nearly startle Lance, shining almost violet in contrast to a setting dripping in pale oranges and dusky yellows.

Lance swallows. “Do you ever feel like you're not enough? Like, no matter what you do, you'll never be good enough?”

“Well yeah,” Keith says, his eyebrows scrunching together. Then, as if realizing something, he frowns. "Lance, is something wrong...?”

Looking down, Lance shrugs, his ears reddening in embarrassment. “I don't know…” he mumbles. “I was just wondering…”

Keith is quiet for a moment, just long enough for Lance's insecure mind to think that maybe he's switched his attention back to the sunset. When he looks up, however, Keith's eyes are directly on Lance. They have this strange, stormy intensity in them that Lance can't quite label. He looks… _determined._

“When I first met you,” Keith starts, “I thought you were loud, dumb, and completely obnoxious.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Shut up.” Keith glares, but it doesn't really carry any heat. “And _listen._ ”

Lance mimes zipping his lips and throwing away the key, sending Keith a thumbs up. Keith rolls his eyes and continues.

“When I first met you, I didn't like you. But then we got thrown together into fighting this war, into fighting for Voltron, and it's not like I could've avoided you. It wasn’t an option. So, I adapted. I learned to fight _with_ you instead of against you. I learned to tolerate you, and eventually… eventually you grew on me, and I started to consider you one of my closest friends.

“And then Shiro went missing, and my entire world got flipped upside down. But you were there for me, Lance. You helped me move forward, helped me accept being Black's pilot, and became my right hand man.”

Keith is smiling, now. And his eyes are still intense, but it's different — less piercing and more open, more earnest, like he's relaying to Lance some great secret. The way he's looking at him makes Lance feel stripped open and bare. Vulnerable, as if _he's_ the one laying out his heart for Keith to see.

Lance's chest tightens with every word. He wants to tell Keith to _stop_ , stop looking at him like there are galaxies hidden in his eyes, stop telling him these sincerely adoring words, stop making Lance feel like he's drowning in his own skin.

“I came to know you as someone kind, and strong, and brave. And that's the Lance that's gonna help us win this war — the Lance who's the paladin of the Red Lion. The Lance who’s always got my back. The Lance who knows exactly who he is, and what he has to offer.”

Keith pauses, and for the briefest of moments, a flash of sadness appears in his eyes, but it's gone as quickly as it arrived. “And the Lance who I fell in love with.”

Lance stops breathing.

Keith's smile is just big enough to reach his eyes. “I love you, Lance. I know you don't feel the same way — know that you like Allura — but you deserve to know how amazing you are. How capable you are. How lovable you are. I've loved you for… a lot longer than you can probably imagine, and if you need to hear that to finally start believing in yourself, I'll tell you every day until you get there.”

Lance is dying. He's choking, struggling to breathe, his heart pounding in his chest as he attempts to wrap his mind around what Keith's saying. Keith, in love with him? But that's… that's…

Impossible. Unthinkable.

But somehow, he knows Keith isn't lying. Keith isn't cruel. Keith is compassionate and honest and caring and — apparently — _in love with him_.

Lance tries to speak, but nothing comes out. He can't even open his mouth. So Keith keeps talking.

“Please don't freak out, okay?” he says, brows furrowing and mouth turning down. Lance wants to reach forward and push it back up. “This doesn't change anything. I don't expect you to like me back or anything all of a sudden. But you deserve to know.”

He looks back toward the sun, which has almost completely disappeared, leaving a muted shade of dark cornflower blue in its wake. Lance is able to breathe better without those ardent eyes holding his.

Finally, Lance croaks out a response. “You…” His voice cracks, so he clears his throat. It doesn't help much. “You love me?”

Keith nods, still watching the fading sun. “I really do. So don't go around thinking you're not enough.”

Lance swallows around the lump in his throat, not sure why he's conflicted. Keith told him he doesn't expect Lance to feel the same, and Lance still has a date with Allura tonight. But… Keith is right there, leaning against his giant pet wolf, looking otherworldly in the sunset's remaining light, painting him like some sort of angel in the dying streaks of sunshine. And all Lance wants to do is lean over, pull him close, and hold him until the sun comes back around again tomorrow morning.

“I'm sorry,” Lance whispers instead.

Because he can't flake out on Allura. Because he told his family he liked her, not Keith. Because he's scared, because all these feelings swirling around and building up inside him with terrifying momentum are somehow not new or unfamiliar, like he would've expected, and he’s only just now starting to understand the reason why. Because Lance is a coward who doesn't know what to do with this Keith, who's all soft smiles and affectionate soliloquies and _I’m in love with you_ ’s.

Keith, who gives Lance a sad, knowing smile. It's like a knife, twisting into Lance's gut and rearranging his insides until he can't recognize himself anymore.

“It's okay, Lance,” he tells him quietly. He makes eye contact with Lance one last time, obviously trying not to be visibly upset, and everything about it makes Lance feel nauseated with guilt and confusion _._ “You should go to Allura. Find her, so you can spend our last hours here with — with the person you do have feelings for.”

And because he really, truly is a coward, Lance stands to go, looking at Keith — _really_ looking — one last time. Some inexplicable emotion bubbles up, urging, _urging_ Lance to _stay_.

He closes his eyes, counts to three, then turns away.

(Because he can't stand to look at Keith anymore. Because he's afraid of what he might do if he does.)

“Thank you, Keith,” he whispers.

 _Allura is waiting_ , he reminds himself. _She's going to your house for dinner, because you love her..._

He goes to leave, and Keith speaks so gently he almost misses it.

“Any time, Lance.”

_...right?_

He doesn't know. And even though it feels wrong, he goes to her anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh. At first, I wasn't going to post this because I always want my boys to have a happy ending, but this is a vent fic of sorts and I actually was really proud of how it turned out. I'm not sure if I'll ever continue this, but I might depending on reader reaction, so please leave me comments telling me what you think! I really appreciate the feedback :)
> 
> (Also, if you're one of my readers from the GSA: don't worry, I'm still continuing writing the final chapter! I've just been a mood to write more sad things lately, and the final chapter of the GSA is VERY FLUFFY and will hopefully make up for all this angst! <3)


End file.
